


As Fate would Have It

by 1tskillingm3



Series: Tangled in Fate [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Nekoma, Soulmate AU, Training Camp, asexual Kenma, bokuaka feels, daisuga mentions, it's all bokuto's fault, levyaku mentions, lots of fluff, this might take longer then I thought, volleyball idiots, was supposed to be done shot but...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1tskillingm3/pseuds/1tskillingm3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The name printed in small, thin, and elegant font on his wrist had always been a source of great anxiety for Kenma. What if people noticed? What if it made them start paying attention to him? So few people had found out who their destined would be that no doubt people would be curious. Considering who it was he was also bound to be the center of a lot of gossip too. And no way would his soulmate be conspicuous about their status either.</p><p>Good thing he had no idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Kenma! You need to get up! You’ll be late for training camp!” his mother called up the stairs. Kenma groaned and only rolled over. Why did he have to sacrifice his sleep just so he could get bruised and sweaty and even _more_ exhausted? It was definitely not worth it. He should just text Kuroo and pretend to be sick for at least the first day. Then he could appear later after the other teams had lost some of their high energy levels. Yes, that was an excellent idea. He would do that. Athletic people were so much more tolerable when they were exhausted and he was not. He tiredly patted around for his phone without opening his eye. He wondered how accurate his texting would be if he did it without looking. After playing so many games on his phone he was familiar enough with the keypad that it would likely be fine… Or at least vaguely understandable.

He heard foot steps in the hall and assumed that it was his mother coming to bother him for not getting up. Kenma probably should have been suspicious that she wasn’t talking to him as she walked or that her tread was so light and smooth, but his sleep addled brain wasn’t up for complex analysis at that moment. His hand landed on the edge of his phone, which only succeeded in knocking it to the floor. Kenma sighed and let his arm fall limply off the bed as he contemplated just leaving the device there.

“You are a truly skilled creature in the mornings Kenma.” Came a deep chuckle from the doorway that was definitely _not_ his mother. Kenma snatched hand back under the covers so fast he probably startled Kuroo. Good, then they’d be even.

“What are you doing here?” Kenma glared up at the tall boy from over the edge of his blanket as he cradled his arm against his chest out of Kruoo’s sight and tried not to look like he’d nearly had a heart attack.

He should start locking his door or something.

“I am here to make sure our wonderful setter makes it to practice without any mysterious illnesses or accidents befalling him.” Said Kuroo looking far too cheerful and awake for any sane human being at this time of morning. Kenma groaned. Well there went that plan. He turned and buried his face in his pillow with a stream of unhappy sounds.

“Come on grumpy, your mother already has breakfast on the table and we’ve got to go.” Kenma decided not to grace that with an answer, despite knowing that it would be impossible(and unadvisable) to try and go back to sleep now that Kuroo was here. Rolling so that his left arm remained trapped and hidden under his body, Kenma attempted to subtly drift back off. His best friend knew him too well apparently though, for the next second his covers were rudely ripped off of him and a grinning Kuroo attempted to drag him up and off the bed by his arm.

“I’m up! I’m up!” protested Kenma yanking his arm away in what he hoped looked like an indignant manner but was really slightly panicked. He glared at his friend to compensate. Kuroo was predictably unruffled by the display.

“Your hair looks cute when it’s all messed up Mr. Pudding-head.” Kuroo teased leaning back against the wall. Kenma didn’t think that dignified an answer.

“Go eat. My mom loves feeding you. I’ll join you in a second.” Said Kenma wandering over to his dresser.

“Too true. However, how do I know you won’t just go back to sleep? Maybe I should stay and stand guard.” Teased Kuroo.

“Kuroo, I have to get dressed. Get out.” Groaned Kenma.

“So?” Kenma threw a pillow at him from the bed, “Hey, hey, no need to get violent. You haven’t even packed yet, right? I can help, and if we get done sooner then you can nap until its time to go.”

“…fine.” Sighed Kenma at last. There was really no point in insisting that Kuroo leave when he really would like his help packing. Kuroo always helped him pack, and Kenma was sure he’d forget half the things he’d need if he ever tried to do it without him… and probably bring way more video games than were probably best to be playing at a training camp.

That didn’t mean he was going to do his morning routine in front of Kuroo though. Throwing his duffle over to his taller friend, Kenma snatched up his cloths and made for the bathroom, perfectly content to ignore whatever teasing comment that action gained him. Not that he particularly cared about Kuroo seeing him change(they did share a locker room after all and they’d been friends even longer then that, it wasn’t like they hadn't ever seen each other without clothes before) but the idea that all the taller boy’s attention would be on him while he changed without the other team members distracting him was an uncomfortable one. Not to mention that it was during Kenma’s morning routine that he hid… _that_.

In this world there was a bothersome reality of “soulmates”. Or rather, the name of the person most suited to be with you would appear somewhere on your body. Some people never had a name, never being perfectly suited to anyone or just fairly suited for a lot of people. Some had more then one name on them. Some would have a name, but the person that they were best suited for, was better suited with someone else. Some never even met the person whose name they had. People who had each other’s names were called truemates. Everyone was different. There were theories as to why names would appear on different parts of the body… according to one it was supposed to say something about your personality/disposition depending on where it appeared. In that case, Kenma thought, it would make sense that his soulmate’s name had appeared on his wrist; a place in clear sight for both him and the rest of the world to see that would be impossible to ignore. Yet ignore it he did. And more then that, he hid it from everyone as well.

Hiding it would have been easier if he weren’t in volleyball; he could have just worn a watch over it or something. Figures the one sport he chose would be the type you had to keep your wrists completely bare for, not even a sweat band. So he had sacrificed some of his precious game money to get some expensive waterproof make-up to paint over and blend away the elegant script on his wrist. He never told his parents(although he thought his dad might know or at least suspect considering he was a lot like Kenma in many ways) or even Kuroo. Especially not Kuroo.

Part of it was that he thought that the whole thing was over-romanticized by society. People seemed to think that meeting your soulmate somehow was equivalent to suddenly getting hitched. Like bam, ‘oh we just met but we’re apparently destined for each other so let’s fuck each others brains out because why not? We’re pretty much married anyway’. Kenma had observed a lot of relationships- that could have been almost perfect- completely fall apart because the couple had jumped to try and fulfill what they thought a soulmates relationship should look like in all its stereotypical glory and never bothered to try and properly get to know each other(because if they’re “destined” then everything about that other person should work perfectly with everything about them right? Wrong, stupid; no human was perfect so it would be impossible for two humans to work “perfectly” together. At least that was what Kenma thought anyway) then they got confused and angry when they got caught in a dysfunctional relationship. Or often times the opposite was true, where people were so afraid to get into a serious or committed relationship with someone who’s name was different then the one written on them that they missed a lot of chances for what could have been really healthy and fantastic relationships.

It was rather like cooking, Kenma mused, just because you had the best raw(organic- whatever) materials, most food wasn’t going to taste as great unless you put the proper amount of time into preparing it. Food that’s ingredients were only so-so was still going to be whole lot more enjoyable if you worked on it then food you just left sitting around and did nothing to. It would rot- and so did a lot of soulmate relationships.

Not that Kenma really wanted to work on a “proper” relationship with anyone, let alone his “soulmate” but that was entirely another issue.

“Kenma! I’ve got all your stuff together, check through it when you come out to see if you need anything else, okay?” called Kuroo with a quick rap on the door startling Kenma out of his thoughts.

“Thanks,” Kenma called softly back, he didn’t have to say that he knew Kuroo would have chosen everything that he might have wanted or needed, but he rather liked that Kuroo always checked with him anyway. Kuroo had once joked that they might as well be soulmates with the way they seemed to fit together. Kenma had ignored him, because any other reaction would have aroused suspicion.

Carefully, Kenma checked that the characters _黒尾鉄朗_ (Kuroo Tetsuro) were completely concealed on his wrist before heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short. I had to debate whether I was going to have a long oneshot(like 25+ pages) or if I should have a bunch of little chapters. Obviously, I decided to go with the many little chapters. Still though, I think I'll be able to complete this one soonish… or not if some spark of inspiration comes for making the plot more in depth. We'll see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Training camp! This was probably my favorite arc of the manga so far because 1) I love Nekoma 2) we get to meet the owls! who are some of my favorites in the series 3) There is more character development in this section of all the children*I mean*cough*Characters then a lot of their games…. and just a lot of just seeing the characters both on and off the court and the awkward way they all care about each other. The volleyball families are strong in Haikyuu!!  
> :)
> 
> …You might be able to guess from all that, but I can't wait until the training camp is animated!

“Yo Kenma, we’re here.” Said Kuroo nudging him before grabbing up both their bags and standing up. Kenma carefully saved his game and tucked it away in his pocket as all around him his teammates were noisily all trying to stand up and grab their things from the racks on the bus all at once and only succeeded blocking each other’s way by cramming together. Kenma stayed seated.

“You doing okay? You didn’t get carsick this time did you?” asked Kuroo watching him intently all the while blocking Yamamoto from charging outside so that their Coach could take his time getting out without getting trampled.

“I am fine.” Lied Kenma with a straight face pretending he wasn’t about to puke the small breakfast he’d eaten all over the floor. He always got super nauseas whenever he tried to play video games while riding in a vehicle and Kuroo knew it but… the alternative was to listen to the team members coo about all the hot female managers that would be at the joint training camp and that was just… no. This was why portable games existed.

“There should be something inside that will settle your stomach.” Said Kuroo after a moment of staring at him skeptically. Kenma made a face at him and pretended he wasn’t immensely grateful. Kuroo snorted unattractively and then proceeded to lead the rest of the team out of the bus. Kenma waited until only one or two teammates remained before finally standing with a slight grimace and heading out of the bus.

“Kenma!” called Yaku running up from inside with a bottle of meds, “Kuroo said to bring this to you. Are you okay? You shouldn’t be playing if you aren’t feeling well! Don’t let that captain of ours over-work you.”

“I’ll be fine, just a little car-sick.” Mumbled Kenma, slightly embarrassed by all of Yaku’s fussing.

“Well if you’re sure,” huffed Yaku slightly still hovering a bit and Kenma downed the meds, “come on in and get your stuff settled.”

“Mmm, Kuroo should have already brought it in.” hummed Kenma as they walked.

“Yeah, he claimed your usual spot for you. Still, I think you should lay down for a bit before we start our warm-ups.” Yaku fretted slightly as they entered the Nekoma sleeping space.

“…If I sleep now I won’t get up till noon and Kuroo will be annoying.” Sighed Kenma looking wistfully at his bedroll before resigning himself to simply plugging his game in to charge instead.

“Hey, hey, Kozume! Want to come toss to me for a bit before we start?” asked Lev as he came bounding into the room looking for all the world like a large puppy, despite the fact that he was almost 6.5 feet tall.

“Lev, I’ve told you a million times to just call me Kenma.” Frowned Kenma unhappily.

“Kozume is my very cool sempai! It would be rude-“ protested Lev earnestly.

“You know I hate those sorts of first-year/second-year formalities. Honestly Lev, just call me Kenma, everyone does.” Kenma quickly cut him off, noticing as he did so that Yaku was strangely quite beside him. Normally by now he would be lecturing Lev, but instead the short Libero was sorting through something in his bag with an air of someone who was trying to look busy… Kenma narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“But you call Kuroo by his last name.” Lev interjected with confusion and Kenma tried not to tense up too obviously.

“Kuroo is your captain. You should address him respectfully.” Said Kenma trying to shrug nonchalantly, though he felt Yaku looking at him intently and he inwardly cringed.

“Oh! That makes sense! Alright then Ko-Kenma, will you toss for me?” asked Lev brightly seeming satisfied with that answer.

“…Honestly it’s your serves that need the most work, Lev.” Commented Kenma with a dead-pan expression.

“Ah… yeah, you’re probably right. I guess I work on those.” Said Lev rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment before excusing himself, presumably to do just that.

“You know Kenma… He’s right, you know. I’ve never noticed before, but you call everyone by their first names except Kuroo,” said Yaku the moment the tall Russian player was out of hearing range, “And don’t try and tell me that it’s because he’s the captain because I know you’ve never cared about stuff like that. It’s even weirder since you guys have known each other like- forever.”

“Just habit, it would be kind of weird to break it now.” Shrugged Kenma trying to brush the comment off- it was a little too close to things he didn’t want to talk about _ever_ \- so he quickly changed the subject, “Did something happen with Lev?”

“Huh?” Said Yaku his voice cracking slightly and his face turning bright red, “No! Nothing!”

Kenma just stared at him.

“Really Kenma, you think that if something had happened that L-Lev wouldn’t be bounding around; you know he get’s moppey whenever anything happens.” Yaku insisted.

“…You don’t have to tell me since it’s really none of my business, but if you keep acting all weird around him people are going to notice.” Commented Kenma looking away, “But so long as you don’t let whatever it is affect your volleyball then I doubt anyone will say anything.”

“Yeah…” mumbled Yaku, and Kenma felt rather then saw him shuffle closer on the sleeping matts, “Actually Kenma… do you think you could give me some advice?”

“…I think I am a very bad person to go to for advice Yaku.” Said Kenma bluntly.

“No you’re not! You’re very observant and smart! And you always know just what people are going to do and need to do in order for things to work in games.” Insisted Yaku suddenly passion and a little bit in Kenma’s personal space.

“Uh… sure. If you say so.” Mumbled Kenma uncomfortably.

“It’s true!” insisted Yaku before suddenly going uncharacteristically shy, “So I was wondering… from all your people watching… if you have any advice about… _soulmates_.”

Oh no, Kenma thought.

“…Lev, huh? When did you find out?” asked Kenma stalling for time.

“Shortly after he joined the team… I thought it was just some dirt or something at first, but it wouldn’t come off! And then it kept getting clearer and clearer and-! What am I supposed to do?! It’s weird isn’t it? Having a guy as your soulmate? And he’s my _teammate_ too! What am I supposed to do?! It’s too weird, I should just quit.” Said Yaku clutching his head and sounding like he was going to work himself into a panic attack soon.

“It’s not that weird, guys get other guys names no them much more often then society would like us to believe, I think… and anyway, if someone on the team did find out, I don’t think they’d judge you for it; we’ve got a pretty good team.” Said Kenma slowly while wishing he wasn’t so socially awkward so that maybe he would know the correct way to comfort his friend.

“Yeah you’re right… we do.” Sighed Yaku fondly seeming to calm down slightly before his forehead creased with worry again, “But what if Lev finds out?! I don’t know which would be worse; him not having my name on him or him having my name on him! He’ll start treating me different and it’s sure to mess up our team dynamic.”

“Not necessarily…” said Kenma thinking about Kuroo(he had wondered the same thing plenty of time himself), before deciding a different example would be better, “You know the Karasuno team? Their captain and that silver-haired setter are truemates and it doesn’t seem to mess them up at all… in fact they seem to work together even better on the court.”

“Wait- they are?! How do you know that?!” demanded Yaku looking shocked.

“Well, they don’t exactly hide it with their behavior… and besides, both their marks are very visible. I don’t think it’s a secret.” Shrugged Kenma.

“You think… it could really be okay?” asked Yaku hopefully.

“…I have no idea. But you don’t have to treat him any differently just because he’s your soulmate; Lev is still exactly the same person as he was before you found out. Nothing has changed other then the fact that now you know. Whatever changes from here is up to you.” Mumbled Kenma, still not completely comfortable talking about soulmates, especially when Yaku looked at him with a sense of dawning comprehension.

“Kenma… Have you found your soulmate?” asked Yaku. Kenma almost told him, but instead he fixed him with his most deadpan expression and shrugged.

“You’ve seen me change; have you ever seen a name on me?”

“Oh, right… my bad.” Said Yaku his face falling slightly before he tensed up, “Wait we change together! How am I supposed to hide his name?!”

“Uh… where is it?” asked Kenma awkwardly. Blushing, Yaku pointed to the spot on his chest right over his heart. ‘How cute’ Kenma thought, “That shouldn’t be that hard then, just face the wall and hold your other shirt in front of you while you pull on the other one… actually, how would you feel about telling Kuroo? He’s good at distracting people, particularly Lev. You know he would respect you and cover for you if you asked him.”

“Yeah I know… and I know I should probably tell him anyway because he’s our captain and stuff… but I’d rather no one but you know. At least right now, when it’s all new.” Mumbled Yaku.

“Understood.” Said Kenma nodding. Yaku looked like he was about to say something more but Kenma held up his hand as he heard someone’s running footsteps.

“Ah, here you are! Karasuno just got here and the other teams are ready, so Kuroo wants us to round up in the gym in 10.” Said Inuoka brightly as he popped his head in the room.

“Alright, we’ll be there.” Agreed Yaku standing up, “C’mon Kenma, we better go or Bokuto will try and challenge Lev or something and if either of those babies start sulking this early in we’ll be in for a loooong training camp.”

“Ah, right.” Mumbled Kenma feeling tired already just thinking about it… not to mention that talk with Yaku felt like it had used up all of his potential social energy all in one go.

Kenma missed his handheld already and they walked over to the gym, Inuoka getting scolded by Yaku about some comment or other he’d made about Karasuno’s new cute assistant manager. He wanted to save his phone battery for their break times so he refrained from pulling it out by fiddling nervously with the back of his pants. Yaku was understandably tense as they quickly changed in the locker room, but Kenma was sure that nobody else saw choppy Cyrillic on the other boy’s chest that was only visible for a moment before his jersey was pulled over it. Kenma himself fiddles nervously with the back of his shorts just to have something to do with his hands.

“Alright Kenma?” asked Kuroo as he passed on his way to go change as well.

“Mmhmm.” Hummed Kenma hoping that would satisfy the captain. He didn’t like keeping more secrets then he had to from his friend, but Yaku had asked him not to mention it so he wouldn’t. Kuroo paused and squinted at him for a moment before the sound of Yamamoto getting into some kind of trouble with two of Karasuno’s newly arrived members forced him to lose whatever train of thought he’d been on.

“Go ahead and start warming up, I’ll join you in a bit once I grab those idiots.” Said Kuroo distractedly with quick smile and a ruffle of Kenma’s hair. Kenma pouted slightly as he straightened his hair again but turned away knowing that Kuroo would just tease him about it.

Instead he resigned himself to the sweaty activity of warming up with a bunch of hyped up boys who would no doubt make him feel tired just looking at them. Sighing, Kenma began his stretches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as much happens in this chapter, but Yaku's predicament is going to be key for Kenma's own development later on. More KuroKen in the next chapter as well as little Kenma & Hinata friendship because, hey, their friendship brings me joy.


	3. Chapter 3

Kenma decided that training camp really was the worst. Everywhere he went there were people, people, and more people. He wasn’t even allowed to go wander outside by himself because the coaches were very strict about being in a buddy system(always at least two people in a room together and no boys alone with any of the managers). Normally Kenma wouldn’t care all that much about the rules, but last time he’d wandered off Kuroo and Yaku had gotten really worried, so he at least tried to follow the buddy system if only to avoid another lecture. Instead he stayed up late under his covers tapping away at his hand-held and relishing in the silence as all of his teammates slept.

In short, he always felt tired these days. Or maybe drained would be a more accurate word.

“Kenma?” called Inuoka rapping on the stall door that Kenma had secluded himself in to apply make-up on his mark, “We’re going to start the first match with Fukurodani in a few minutes, okay?”

“I’ll be right out.” Kenma called softly, waiting until Inuoka had left before putting his supplies away. He’d given Yaku some of his concealer(telling him he’d gotten it from one of the female managers of course) so he had to apply his own a little more thinly then he usually did in order for his supplies to last the whole trip… He’d have to stock up again once the training camp was over. That meant he’d have to wait to buy that new game until his next allowance.

Kenma huffed in irritation as he carefully hid his supplies in an inner pocket of his bag before sitting to pull on his sneakers unenthusiastically. A process which didn’t take nearly as long as he hoped it would and soon he had no more excuses to linger in the locker room so he reluctantly wandered out onto the court. There he found the volleyball players full of energy and ready to go. From across the room Kuroo looked up and caught sight of Kenma’s less than thrilled expression and positively grinned before waving him over.

Kenma went, absentmindedly scanning the other players and collecting data on their energy levels. Hinata Shouyo and his setter were at odds again, their slightly fractured dynamic seemed to be throwing the rest of the team a little off, but the vice captain and captain were still holding the team together decently enough. There were so many interestingly mated pairs on that team, more than he’d ever encountered in a sport. One of Kenma’s theories was that having so many truemates on a team was part of what gave Karasuno its spark; the peculiar bonds between teammates on such a personal level caused and resolved tensions in waves resulting in either overwhelming success or failure. Fukurodani on the other hand didn’t appear to have any mated pairs… though a few times he’d had his suspicions about Akaashi, but mostly his dead-pan expression didn’t give away much. If he was, and Kenma could only really see one person whose name he’d likely have, it didn’t seem like his partner also had his name. At least not yet. Stealth was not Bokuto’s strong points, and Kenma had a feeling that if Akaashi’s name had appeared anywhere on the tall spiker there was no way the world wouldn’t know it by now. As a team though, the so called ‘owls’ seemed to be in high spirits that day, bouncing off their captain’s infectious enthusiasm making them move with an ease and an energy that would be difficult to combat.

How troublesome.

“How are we looking today?” asked Kuroo when Kenma finally reached him.

“…We should be able to win against Karasuno later today. Fukurodani… I don’t know. Probably not.” Kenma said blinking tiredly.

“Hmm… Bokuto does look like he’s in quite a mood today doesn’t he. What are our chances of getting him out of that?” hummed Kuroo thoughtfully.

“Not good.” Replied Kenma picking up a stray volleyball and spinning it absentmindedly between his hands in the absence of his game.

“Oho? Why do you say that?” asked Kuroo rocking back on his heals.

“Akaashi.” Said Kenma simply.

“Ah… yes, he’s also in fine form today isn’t he. Probably not going to let his ace get in a funk this early in the day. We could still win though.” Kuroo noted tilting his head.

“…Coach wants Lev in today.” Was Kenma’s response.

“So? He’s been getting better.” Kuroo said. Kenma sighed, he knew Kuroo believed him and was only countering him so that Kenma would give a more flushed out analysis. He was used to that, but today he really-

“Ah. You’re not feeling great.” Observed Kuroo, his eyes widening in understanding. Kenma paused his spinning of the ball. He wasn’t sure if he should respond to the observation. He wasn’t wrong, but-

“I meant that Lev is out of sorts today.” Said Kenma shrugging, deciding to ignore the comment. Kuroo stared at him steadily for a few moments.

“Let’s go outside for lunch today. Just you and me.” Kuroo said suddenly.

“Wha-?” blinked Kenma, startled slightly.

“We’ll find somewhere quite. I’ll give you space, I promise, and you can get some time to yourself.” Continued Kuroo firmly. Kenma nodded with a blank expression. His chest felt warm and the tension that had been coiling there loosened a bit. He was lucky to have someone who knew him so well and was on his side. Kenma’s wrist tingled a little.

“You’re right though, as usual,” mused Kuroo looking back over at their team as they did their stretches, “Lev has been off this morning. I didn’t think there was anything that could break through that optimism of his but it seems like Yaku is ignoring him… You think I should talk to Yaku about it?”

“…You're the captain.” Shrugged Kenma indifferently, settling back into the conversation. Frankly, Lev pouting because he was being ignored was preferable to both Lev and Yaku getting flustered over each other. Kenma rather dreaded the day that Lev figured out he was Yaku’s soulmate. It was sure to go right to his head.

“Any advice?” Kuroo prodded.

“…Don’t push to hard.” Kenma said glancing over at Yaku.

“Do you have any idea what’s causing this? That would be helpful when talking to them.” Asked Kuroo. Kenma leveled his gaze at his friend.

“I am not getting in the middle of this.” Kenma said simply.

“Oho? Alright then, I’ll tread carefully.” Commented Kuroo, his gaze sharpening. It wasn’t often that Kenma wouldn’t divulge information to Kuroo if asked directly. The implications of that probably spoke louder than anything Kenma could have said.

“Line up!” came the call. Kenma set aside the extra ball and went to take his place among the team. The game started and Kenma let his mind settle back into his comfortable spot of observer. Evaluate the placement of the blockers and receivers of the other team and their expressions. Where were they expecting the ball to go? Check the placement of his own team. Toss to the most strategic spot. Watch how the other team handled it.

As predicted, Fukurodani was in fine form. Nekoma was doing bad either, they definitely were making the owls work for every point they got but… their defense wasn’t quite as smooth as it usually was and their offence a little unpredictable with Lev spiking. Not too bad, but enough that to raise Bokuto’s spirits even more as the ace attributed his teams success to his awesomeness. That made his spikes more swift, powerful, and accurate. Troublesome.

“Kenma, don't just avoid the ball when Bokuto spikes! You need to actually block it!” Kuroo called over to him. Kenma shot him a withering glance as his friend gave him a cheeky cat like grin. What was the point of trying to block Bokuto’s spike at such close quarters? It was just going to bash right through him and probably hurt him along the way.

Still, for Kuroo’s sake(because he was sure to give him grief for it later on) Kenma half heartedly tried to block the next ball. As expected, it did nothing to deter the balls trajectory and Kenma winced as he drooped back to the ground. His arm was smarting painfully, and that last spike felt like his had ripped the skin clean off. He was going to bruise for sure. He looked up to give Bokuto his best withering glare but was instead met with the sight of Fukurodani’s ace gaping at him in shock instead of jumping around gleefully like he normally did after a successful score.

“What?” Kenma demanded crossly.

“Y-You-“ began Bokuto pointing at him stunned, “You have a soulmate!?”

Everything went very still. Or maybe that was just Kenma, his hand automatically snapping to cover his other wrist where a combination of sweat and the force of that last ball had smeared the makeup there. Stupid. He should have just played it off as if Bokuto was seeing things, now he might as well have shouted out that it was true. He could feel the gazes of both teams on him now. Kenma wanted to ground to swallow him whole.

“But-!” Bokuto was still babbling but Kenma could barely hear him over the roaring anxiety in his ears, “I don’t understand! I thought Kuroo said that you didn’t have a so-!”

“Bokuto. Shut-up.” Akaashi said sharply.

“But-!”

“Shut. Up. Now is not the time.” Akaashi said firmly, pulling the confused boy away from the net.

“Kenma…” there was something loaded in Kuroo’s voice as Kenma felt him come up behind him. The setter couldn’t find it in himself to look at him. Not matter what expression his friend was wearing, he didn’t want to see it.

“Coach!” Kenma called monotonely, trotting away from his team quickly, “I think that last spike may have sprained my wrist, may I get it checked out by the nurse.”

“…That’s probably for the best I suppose.” Said the old coach giving Kenma a calculating gaze before sighing deeply, “Go ahead, we’ll have Yuki cover for you.”

Kenma didn’t mention what they both knew, that Yuki was still a first year training to be a libero and while that might free Yaku up to set in his place, there was no way he’d be able to receive quite as well as the third year. They’d definitely lose this round. Instead, Kenma merely bowed and took his leave, feeling the weight of many gazes on him as he left.

It turned out that his wrist was not sprained but his pinkie, which he got carefully taped up as well as a friction burn on his arm and some bruising. The nurse raised his eyebrow at the partially visible _黒_ on his wrist but did not pry, even as he supervised Kenma reapplying his concealer.

“Have you gotten that registered?” was the only thing he’d asked. Kenma had shook his head, “Probably should. They’ve got resources and stuff they can give you if you want to move in with your partner, if the girl’s family is willing. There’s also a more in-depth education they can give you on the subject than the one you’ve gotten in school. Or if you don’t know who it is, then they’ll help you find the girl.”

“Hmm.” Was all Kenma said. There was no point in explaining why he wouldn’t need to do that.

“Are you hungry? You look a little thin.” And that had been the end of that conversation. Kenma was grateful. He stayed in the nurses office as long as he could, missed the Karasuno game, and ate an early lunch so he could avoid everyone. He remembered Kuroo’s promise to go outside together so Kenma could have some quite. He probably didn’t want to do that now. It was a bit painful to think about.

Kenma liked to think that he knew Kuroo pretty well, and he also liked to think that he could be pretty brutally honest with himself when needed. And whether or not Kuroo decided to outwardly show it, Kenma knew that his friend would be upset with him. They didn’t keep secrets between each other, or at least that's what Kuroo had probably thought. He would probably try to be understanding though. He wouldn’t understand, but he’d probably try because Kenma was his best friend. But he’d also want to know who Kenma’s soulmate was and the setter really wasn’t interested in telling him that… and that was probably going to hurt Kuroo a whole lot worse than not mentioning that he had a soulmate. The thought filled him with dread, so he made it his new mission to never get left alone with Kuroo for a while. Though that might raise suspicion, so he would make it a mission to not get left alone with anyone on the team.

As if in mockery of his new resolution, Yaku cornered him not two minutes later.

“You lied. You said you didn’t have a soulmate yet.” Yaku accused him.

“I never said I didn’t have one, I asked if I looked like a had one.” Mumbled Kenma avoiding eye contact.

“Why?” asked Yaku, and Kenma could hear the hurt in his voice.

“…I didn’t want your pity.” Was what came out of his mouth. He winced, that was a little more truthful than he’d been planning to be.

“What?” asked Yaku, his voice thick with confusion.

“My soulmate…” the word felt gross in Kenma’s mouth, “is not… they don’t… I don’t… It’s not going to work out. I’ve thought about it a lot, from a lot of different angles and it’s never going to work out. So… I wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

“Oh…” Kenma chanced a glance at Yaku and winced at the pity that he saw there, “Is it unrequited? Do… they have someone else’s name? I’ve heard of that happening before. Oh I am so sorry Kenma!”

“Um…” Kenma wasn’t sure if he should correct him, but before he could decide Yaku was gripping his shoulder and staring at him with a fierce protectiveness.

“Don’t worry Kenma, I understand you don’t want to talk about it. I’ll make sure no one bothers you about it, and if they do…. Well, just let me know. I’ll go beat them up. Even if it’s Kuroo.”

“…Thanks.” Mumbled Kenma feeling embarrassed by Yaku’s mothering. He really did have a wonderful team, Kenma reflected. He kind of didn’t feel like he deserved them sometimes.

“Okay! First things first, did you eat? I see you’re finger is tapped, are you okay?” asked Yaku, Kenma nodded, “Right then, you go ahead and rest up then before our next match, okay? I’ll talk to the others.”

“Thanks…” sighed Kenma feeling tired. Yaku smiled reassuringly and patted him on the back before leaving. The setter wandered back to their teams room where several of them, Kenma included, had not bothered to put away their futons like they were supposed to. Terribly bad manners, right now Kenma was grateful for his laziness as he allowed himself to pitch forward onto the covers. The air was warm and a little hazy and Kenma felt emotionally exhausted. He didn’t want to think about all the consequences and complications that would come fro today, so instead he let his eyes flutter close and drift into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kenma. It's like the worst nightmare for anyone who has social anxiety.
> 
> I got the idea for Bokuto's spike being the way Kenma was exposed when I was re-reading the training camp arc and found it funny that Kenma would purposefully jump to avoid Bokuto's spikes. Even if the concealer that Kenma was wearing was water proof, it still wouldn't withstand coming into contact with that kind of friction. 
> 
> Also, Mama-Yaku is life and I have no other excuse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is avoiding Kuroo and is on quietly-self-distruct-mode before he finds solidarity with an unexpected source.

Kuroo was trying to talk to him again. Kuroo was trying to coax his way back into his company. Kuroo was being kind and supportive and attentive and Kenma was going to go crazy.

The reminder of what a loyal wonderful friend he had only made his chest hurt.

‘ _If you keep pushing him away then one of these days he’s going to actually listen.’_ He thought to himself miserably. He was perfectly aware that he was mucking up one of the most important relationships in his life for arguably stupid reasons. That didn’t make it any easier though.

Yaku had dutifully talked to the team and emphasized that they were not to talk to Kenma about his soulmate unless he brought it up himself _or else_. This part was directly aimed at Lev who had visibly wilted. No doubt he had been planning on bombarding Kenma in questions the next time he saw him completely oblivious of Kenma’s reluctance to talk about it. The blond was once again very grateful that he had Yaku on his side. He had also seen Yaku drawing Kuroo aside and arguing with him quietly but fervently afterward. Whatever was said though must have been effective because Kuroo hadn’t brought it up with him though Kenma had felt his hurt question filled gaze on more than one occasion. He pretended not to have seen.

Communication was key, in any relationship whether it be friendship or family or… whatever. Kenma generally failed at this, preferring to bottle it all up or hope that his radio silence would communicate his feelings. Sadly, this rarely worked. But it had never been a problem with Kuroo. His friend had learned over the years to read his different kinds of silences and subtle changes in expression. That wasn’t going to work at all in this case.

“Kenma, we’re going to do some extra practice… would you set for us?” asked Kuroo sitting down next to him.

“…no.” said Kenma curling his shoulder’s inward and jabbing at the buttons on his game with more fervor.

“Please?” asked Kuroo leaning around to see Kenma’s expression from where he was trying to hide behind his hair.

“…We’re at training camp Kuroo. There are literally setters everywhere that you could ask. Plenty that are better than me. Go ask them.” Said Kenma shortly watching blankly as his character died on screen. He started to move to restart the game but Kuroo gently laid a hand over his. Kenma swallowed. The blond was very picky about his personal space and there was an unspoken rule not to touch him unless strictly necessary. The significance of the fact that Kuroo was choosing to now did not escape either of them.

“It’s not about needing a setter Kenma.” Said Kuroo simply, his gaze far to steady for Kenma to meet. All the things left unsaid in that simple statement made Kenma want to curl up and have the ground swallow him whole. It hurt. It hurt, but Kenma couldn’t think of an alternative course of action that wouldn’t hurt more in the end.

“I know.” Was all Kenma could reply. He hated how soft a distraught his voice sounded even to his own ears. He didn’t want to know whatever Kuroo was reading off his face right at that moment.

“…Try not to take too long to sort yourself out. I miss you.” Sighed Kuroo letting him go and standing up again, “I’ll be in the gym with Bokuto and some of the Karasuno guys. You can come join us if you feel up to it.”

“Yeah…” mumbled Kenma softly raising his head to watch the other leave. He looked back down at his game. “ _Would you like to restart?”_ the words seemed to taunt him. If only it was that easy.

Kenma closed his game and stood. Softly he padded to the door and slipped on his shoes. He spared a lingering glance at the gym where he could already hear the squeak of sneakers and the smack of volleyball’s hitting the court. Then he turned and walked in the opposite direction. Mindful of the fact that however far he walked he’d have to walk back from, Kenma wandered around the edge of the property till he found a tucked away corner where he could sit without sitting on the ground and was close enough that he could hear if anyone needed him.

Pulling out his game he stared at it contemplating whether or not he wanted to start playing again. Now that he was actually outside of the suffocating atmosphere of the living courters he remembered why he almost never voluntarily ventured outdoors. It might technically be spring, but that didn’t mean it was warm outside and Kenma was already regretting leaving his jacket in the room. Kenma didn’t know quite what to do with his limbs to avoid the bugs he could see crawling lazily around him. There was also lots of dirt everywhere and the texture was uncomfortable and unwelcome. This is why Kenma preferred the artificial controlled atmosphere of the indoors. He almost got up and walked back, but he had just sat down and he felt like going back made coming out in the first place pointless. So he prepared himself to grit his teeth and sit there at least for a little bit despite the fact he was already shivering.

“Why are you out here without a jacket?” came a quite voice from near by. Kenma looked over and saw Akaashi quietly padding over him, shrugging out of his own jacket as he did so.

“I’ll be fine.” Said Kenma looking away, hoping he would take the hint and leave. Unfortunately Akaashi took the hint, observed how much Kenma was already shivering, and decided to stay anyway. Kenma found the Fukurodani setters jacket tossed into his lap seconds later.

“I said I don’t need it.” Frowned Kenma trying to hand it back.

“Ah well, if you don’t take it I guess it’ll just have to sit out here because I am not taking it back. Then we’ll both be cold for absolutely no reason.” Said Akaashi dryly refusing to take it.

“…That’s kind of manipulative.” Observed Kenma after a moment trying not to pout as he shrugged into the large jacket. It was about the same size as the jackets he sometimes stole from Kuroo but the texture was a little different and so was the sent.

“It’s supposed to be. Bokuto is my partner after all so I have lots of practice taking care of people who are not in the mood to be taken care of.” Said Akaashi smiling dryly sitting down next to Kenma, though not close enough to make him uncomfortable. To Kenma’s surprise Akaashi didn’t ask why he was out here or bring up any of the things he could have about their most recent games. In fact he simply… existed next to Kenma quietly, not demanding anything from him. Kenma fiddled with his game a little bit trying to decide if he felt awkward or not. Normally he would, but it was strangely peaceful with the other setter and unexpectedly comforting. It reminded him of how it was with Kuroo some days when they didn’t have practice. Just sprawling out on one of their beds and enjoying each other company in silence. Suddenly a wave of emotion engulfed him. He really really missed his best friend.

“Am I bothering you? Were you wanting alone time?” asked Akaashi tilting his head suddenly turning those observant eyes upon him. Kenma had to remind himself that Akaashi was used to watching for the slightest shifts in emotion and mood in his daily life. He could probably read him almost as well as Kuroo.

“I did come out here to be alone, but you can stay… I do not mind your company.” Admitted Kenma slowly. Akaashi nodded in understanding and Kenma abruptly realized he was never going to push for information or explanation. Nor was he emotionally invested in Kenma’s problems like the rest of his team or even his family was. Not to say he wouldn’t or didn’t care… just that he was a neutral player. Strangely that made Kenma trust him.

‘ _Here is someone,_ ’ Kenma thought, _‘That I can tell things to, and who could probably tell me things as well, without feeling that we are burdening each other.’_

“So why are you out here? This is pretty out of the way.” Said Kenma deciding to brake their silence himself.

“It is.” Akaashi agreed with a small smile, “I come here when I need to think or my team is driving me up the wall.”

“Oh,” Kenma blinked, he ad forgotten for a moment that the training camp was on Fukurodani property; of course Akaashi would know all it’s little haunts, “I am sorry, am I in your spot?”

“No,” assured Akaashi, “My spot is a little further back. I’ll show you sometime, it’s not a bad place to escape to.”

“Thanks.” Said Kenma sincerely. He knew the significance of sharing one’s spots of solitude as another introvert. Kuroo had always respected the boundaries that he set up, but he never really was able to understand it exactly. And that was fine. But Kenma’s toes still curled a little bit at the thought of someone else who _got_ it.

“It generally a good idea to bring a jacket in this weather though; frost bitten cats tend to make everyone depressed.” Commented Akaashi. His expression was perfectly blank and uninterested, but there was a slight glint to his eyes that made Kenma flush with the realization that he was being teased.

“So… were you coming out here to think?” asked Kenma to cover up the fact that he was sure his cheeks were a little pink and he wasn’t sure he could pass it off as being from the cold.

“No. Today it was because my team was driving me crazy.” Said Akaashi making a small face up at the sky.

“Oh?” said Kenma. He supposed it wasn’t that unexpected considering that Bokuto had been in a funk since their game.

“Yes. Kuroo came to play and he’s depressed which is making Bokuto even more moody because he thinks it’s his fault his ‘best bro’ is down. And everyone else is whispering shit and it was kind of pissing me off.” Said Akaashi bluntly. Kenma winced. He wasn’t sure what part made him feel more nauseous; that people were whispering about him behind his back, that Bokuto was in a funk because of him, or that he had hurt Kuroo. Well, he already kind of knew all those things anyway, but it was different hearing it. Kenma appreciated Akaashi’s frankness though. Lately every one had been tip toeing around him and being very careful to be extra nice to him and it left him feeling even more wound up than he already was. The other’s setters straight forward honesty was refreshing despite being a bit painful.

“Sorry.” Mumbled Kenma, realizing that he had probably also made Akaashi’s life more difficult.

“Don’t apologize,” sighed Akaashi frowning, “You haven’t done anything wrong. Everyone else is being nosey and dramatic.”

“I guess…” said Kenma still feeling fairly guilty.

“No. It’s none of their business. You don’t owe them any kind explanation or excuse for wanting to keep that name hidden. It’s perfectly understandable. No one… you’re not obligated by any means to tell anyone. Even if they’re your… best friend.” Said Akaashi seriously. It sounded like maybe Akaashi was going to say something other than ‘best friend’ and Kenma realized he didn’t mind half as much as he thought he would that the other setter seemed to have figured him out.

“It’s not that I mind if people know per say… I mean I am not ashamed of who it is. It’s just… they’re not going to get it, and I can’t- I can’t hurt him like that,” said Kenma struggling to put words to the emotions that had been swirling within him since the characters to Kuroo’s name had first appeared on his wrist. He chanced a glance sideways at the dark haired boy next to him and took courage in the way Akaashi was patiently waiting for him with no trace of judgment on his face, “Because I care a lot for him, but… not in the way that you’re supposed to care for your soulmate. Everyone… expects that once you find your soulmate you’ll feel- that you’re supposed to want- and I’ve never wanted any of that. It just sounds awful to me.”

“So you’re saying that you’re not attracted to him at all, even though he’s your soulmate?” clarified Akaashi slowly. He didn’t look disturbed by the idea though, just thoughtful, “Have you ever been attracted to anyone else?”

“No, I- I don’t that kind of thing is for me.” He admitted, and Akaashi merely nodded in understanding so Kenma pressed on a little nervously, “But I don’t think- he’s not the same as me that way I don’t think? And I feel sort of… guilty? Like one day he’s going to need something from me and I won’t be able to give it.”

“That’s a valid concern,” admitted Akaashi, “Though not really something you should feel guilty about… You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are to try meet someone else’s needs… even if that person is your soulmate.”

“I suppose…” said Kenma looking away. There was a part of him that sometimes thought he’d give up anything for Kuroo’s happiness… That part of him kind of scared Kenma and he had to remind himself that Kuroo would never thank him for doing something like that. Akaashi seemed to be worrying about something similar but Kenma saw him purse his lips and hold back whatever he had been going to say.

“Have you thought about talking to him about this?” asked Akaashi instead.

“No. I can’t. He’ll- I’ll only hurt him. You know how Kuroo gets, he will want to give all this stuff to try and stay with me.” Said Kenma shaking his head. He froze realizing he had accidentally said who it was, and even though he’d been pretty sure Akaashi already knew-

“It’s not your job to make Kuroo’s decisions for him.” Said Akaashi firmly, if he was surprised by the identity of Kenma’s soulmate he didn’t show it, “You’re kind of insulting him by assuming that he won’t be able to make a mature decision about this. Oh, he’ll probably try and do stupid stuff at some point, but he’ll do that anyway. And whatever he does or does not choose to do would never be your fault.”

“I suppose… it’s just- I just want to keep being friends with him. I don’t want to hurt him.” Kenma repeated again closing his eyes. He wasn’t used to talking this much, especially about himself, and no matter how much it was probably good for him he now felt emotionally exhausted.

“Is keeping it a secret really helping it that much though?” asked Akaashi sparing a glance towards the gym.

“No…” admitted Kenma fairly miserably.

“I have no judgments if you decide to still not tell him though,” said Akaashi seriously, he hesitated looking away before admitting, “You know Bokuto has my name on him.”

“Oh?” Kenma blinked, not really surprised that this was the case, but rather that Akaashi trusted him enough to tell him.

“He… doesn’t know yet though. I saw it by accident, it’s… not on a spot he’d be able to see on himself or that someone else would probably notice.” Akaashi plowed on hurriedly, “I’ve decided not to tell him though. I don’t have his name and I don’t know if it’ll appear and Bokuto… he’d probably be excited at first- probably want to get married tomorrow or something stupid- but he’ll want to check everyday for his name and every day that it doesn’t turn up…”

“Yeah…” agreed Kenma. Akaashi did have to finish that sentence because Kenma could already sort of picture it. He had to admit he’d probably do the same in Akaashi’s place.

“I guess I just wanted to say I get it if you decide that it’s wisest not to tell him…” said Akaashi absent-mindedly brushing his black hair back a bit.

“Thanks.” Mumbled Kenma gratefully.

“Just- think about I guess is what I want to say.” Said Akaashi slowly making a small face, “Not that I don’t believe you already haven’t, but… they say that your soul mate is suited for you in every way. If Kuroo didn’t have it within himself to be the kind of relationship that is best for you I don’t think he’d be your soulmate. There are such things as queer-platonic relationships you know. Not to say everything would work out if you did tell him just, I guess, that it might not be a hopeless as you believe.”

Kenma wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“We don’t have to keep talking about this if you’d rather not. I know it’s a stressful subject.” Said Akaashi observing him.

“Yeah…” sighed Kenma in agreement.

“C’mon, I’ll show you my secret spot and we can both relax a bit before our idiots come looking for us for dinner.” Said Akaashi standing offering him a hand for pull him up from his seat.

“Won’t you get cold?” asked Kenma taking the extended hand and getting stiffly to his feet. He fiddled with the edges of Akaashi’s jacket guiltily as he noted that the other boy goose bumps all along his arms.

“I’ll be fine for a little while longer.” Smiled Akaashi softly as he led him down the path and then down off a mostly hidden trail. Kenma followed him feeling that strange sense of peace again. He was immensely glad they were rejoining everyone just yet. Akaashi seemed to know that he needed the stillness a little while longer before they re-entered the chaos.

He had a lot to think about after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘This is a kuroken this is a kuroken this is a kuroken’ I chant as I try not to make my love for akaken bleed into it TOO much.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is here! Thanks for all the support and feedback! Hope you enjoy!

Despite how stressful the training camp had been, Kenma found himself a little wistful once it was over. He had unexpectedly found he quite enjoyed hanging out with Hinata, and even more surprising he had found that when paired with Hinata, Lev became not only tolerable but also fairly amusing to be around. They were also nice to hang around because other than an initial curiosity about how it felt to have a soulmate (they couldn’t seem to wrap their head around the fact that it was the same) their childlike personalities were much more interested in volleyball and the video games he played than anything else. The red head had left with a promise that he would text him loads(something Kenma had no doubt he would do, regardless of whether Kenma texted back).

“I think Chibi-chan is a good influence on you.” Commented Kuroo with a grin after he saw the way the short volleyball player was blowing up his phone with texts.

“Hah,” grunted Kenma frowning as he jabbed at his game.

“I mean it, even amongst the team you stayed pretty disconnected until recently… i.e. since the little sunshine started talking to you.” Kuroo insisted as he scrolled through Kenma’s phone while hanging upside-down off the side of the blond’s bed. Kenma grunted non-committedly though he knew it was at least partially true, “Getting so many friends now, I am so proud of you Kitten.”

“Don't talk like you’re my parent. It’s gross.” Said Kenma shooting him a quick withering look over the top of his game. Kuroo only hummed in amusement while Hinata continued to send him text after text.

“You want to answer any of these?” asked Kuroo raising an eyebrow as he pulled the screen closer to his face clicking about as he opened a few, “Whoa, I think baby crow is giving you a play-by-play of every moment of their last match.”

“Stop giving him weird nicknames.” Was all Kenma designed to reply. On his screen his character unlocked a new puzzle that made Kenma bite his lip and frown as he attempted a few initial combinations.

“Remember to save.” Kuroo called without looking at him seemingly deucing from his body language that he’d advanced to a new section.

“Thanks.” Mumbled Kenma grimacing at the little adrenaline rush he got when he realized how long it’d been since his last save.

“Incoming text from someone called Keiji: ‘ _saw a demoing for the ______ii game that you told me about. was going to get a better look but bokuto-‘_ wait a second, is this Keiji as in Akaashi Keiji from Fukurodani?” asked Kuroo his voice quickly turning to shock.

“Give me that.” Kenma said pausing his game so he could snatch his phone back from Kuroo.

“So is it?” demanded Kuroo giving the phone up without a fight and rolling right-side up so he could look Kenma properly.

“How many other Keiji’s do we know that go on dates with Bokuto’s?” asked Kenma shooting Kuroo a look that he hopped would discourage any more stupid questions.

“Wait they’re dating?! Last I checked Bokuto was too chicken- erm owl- to ask him out.” Asked Kuroo startled, “Why haven’t I heard about this?”

“Probably because they’re not _dating._ Bokuto has asked Akaashi on a couple dates and Akaashi has asked him on one. But I don’t know if Bokuto has realized yet that’s what he’s been doing so that probably why you haven’t heard.” Said Kenma scanning Akaashi’s text before typing out a quick reply.

“Hah… I still can’t believe you found out before me. I can’t believe you have Akaashi’s number before me and that you two are on first name bases- no wait I can believe that: you’re on first name basis with pretty much everyone except me.” Kuroo huffed blowing his bangs temporarily out of his face and absentmindedly scratching at the side of his hand.

“Kuroo is unexpectedly turning into a gossip.” Commented Kenma dryly choosing not to answer the second part of his statement: that it would feel weird to call Kuroo by his first name after all these years.

“Damn right I am, I’ve gotten way too emotionally involved in those two idiot’s love life not to.” Sighed Kuroo. That statement didn’t seem to require a response so Kenma simply shot Akaashi a warning message that Kuroo was likely going to get nosey soon and then tucked his phone away to pick up his game again. Kuroo was staring hard at the wall drumming his fingers thoughtfully before he slapped his hand on the covers and sat up reaching into his pocket for his own phone, “Gah, I need to talk to Bokuto.”

“You do that.” Said Kenma disinterestedly settling back into his game. Dimly he could hear Kuroo start talking as he walked out of the room with a ‘bro, way to leave your bro out of the loop…’ and Kenma had to repress a snort. He rather liked the part of Kuroo that Bokuto brought out. His childhood friend so often spent so much time taking care of everyone else that it was nice that he had a friend that he could actually act his age around.

In his pocket Kenma’s phone buzzed. Sighing and putting his game back down probably for good now, Kenma checked it as saw a reply from Akaashi.

_‘Is Kuroo being nosy likely to wined Bokuto up?’_ Kenma glanced at his closed door from which he could faintly hear bits of Kuroo’s animated phone conversation.

‘ _Definitely.’_

_‘Joy.’_ Kenma had to keep himself from smiling at his phone from the way he could clearly imagine the dry tone the other setter would have said that in, ‘ _Is Kuroo with you now?_ ’

‘ _He’s talking on the phone with Bokuto.’_

_‘Ah. And has school been decent since your return?’_ Akaashi never pressed for details about how things were with Kuroo and Kenma appreciated it more than he could put into words.

‘ _As much as can be expected.’_ Kenma replied before he hesitated and added, ‘ _I am actually surprised. I was anticipating to be the center on a lot of gossip when I got back but it seems that no one in the team has talked.’_

_‘Your teammates care for you, they would not intentionally do something that would hurt you.’_ Came Akaashi’s response and Kenma blinked slowly at the words as he digested them.

‘ _I had assumed that it meant that Yaku had threatened them all.’_ Though now that Kenma thought about it, Yamamoto had been acting like his personal guard dog scattering anyone who even dared to look their way funny. And Inuoka had deliberately wandered into their class to see how they were doing. And Yaku had stopped by to make sure that he actually ate his lunch when Kuroo had to go to meetings with the coach. Lev had also tried to hunt him down to set for him during his breaks but that was normal.

_‘That is also possible, your Libero is quite fearsome.’_

_‘But I think you may be right. Our team does have a bit of a family dynamic that I have recently started to be a part of.’_

_‘Do you like that?’_ once again Kenma was struck by the way Akaashi didn’t just assume that was something that he wanted. He fiddled with his phone a bit as he thought about it, responding to some of Hinata’s victory texts while he did so.

‘ _Yes.’_ He answered Akaashi simply after a while, surprised to find it was true. The team may have accepted him into their familial structure but he had also begun to care for them in such a manner as well. If only a little bit.

“Yo, Kenma,” Kuroo said sticking his messy head back in through the door, “You cool with joining the owls on a double date Sunday?”

“We have a day off, and you want me to leave the house?” clarified Kenma wrinkling his nose.

“Just for an hour or two, we can grab some of that Apple Pie you like from that pastry place on the way back.” Kuroo tried to bribe him.

“Or we could stay here and you could make me Apple Pie anyway.” Kenma shot back.

“Do you really want Bokuto in a small enclosed room?” asked Kuroo grinning when Kenma glowered back knowing that he’d won that one.

“Why do I need to be included in this?”

“Because I want to see them but I don’t want them to feel like I am a third wheel?”

“You wouldn’t be third wheel. They love you.” Kenma tried to argue.

“Be that as it may, I still want you to come.” Said Kuroo, “Please?”

“…I want a whole pie, not just a slice.” Kenma finally grumbled.

“You can’t eat a whole pie.” Kuroo countered at once.

“You should not doubt me.”

“Let me rephrase that: please to not eat a whole pie. I need my Setter to not be in a sugar coma for the upcoming tournaments.” Said Kuroo giving him a look. Kenma felt a small smile tugging at his mouth but did not respond to which Kuroo sighed in exasperation quickly telling Bokuto their answer and then saying goodbye. Dropping his phone on the bed, Kuroo came to sprawl on the floor next to Kenma so he could watch the game he was playing, this time on his phone. He was itching at his finger again but Kenma tried to not be too distracted by that. They existed in comfortable silence for a while till a light knock drew both of their attention to the door.

“Kuroo dear? I thought I heard your voice, will you be staying tonight?” Kenma’s mother asked looking tired and still in her work clothes but smiling warmly at them.

“Hello Auntie.” Smiled Kuroo at her before hesitating and giving Kenma a quick look that Kenma wasn’t sure how to interpret, “Let me get back to you on that?”

“Of course.” Replied Kenma’s mother blinking in surprise, usually it almost wasn’t worth asking if Kuroo would stay since he practically lived at their house.

“Are you going to go see Bokuto tonight?” asked Kenma trying to figure out the odd response once his mother had left.

“That depends on if you’ll want space or not.” Said Kuroo shifting to face him properly. Kenma instantly felt nervous. He suddenly knew what this conversation was going and he didn’t want it.

“No. I want space. In fact maybe you should go now before it gets too late.” Said Kenma suddenly feeling the need to be far from his friend.

“If that’s what you want then I’ll go, but only after.” Said Kuroo firmly shuffling so that even as Kenma turned away Kuroo remained in front of him, Kenma chanced a glance at his face and winced at the tightly concealed hurt there and closed them tightly. This. This was why he couldn’t have this conversation. He was just going to end up hurting Kuroo, one way or another.

“We _need_ to talk Kenma,” Kuroo said softly as if he’d read Kenma’s mind, “I won’t let this wreck our friendship. You’re too important for that.”

“Kuroo, I can’t…” Kenma tried to make his friend understand, but like always when he panicked his words left him.

“Breathe Kenma,” Kuroo’s voice instantly became soothing, carefully giving him space but still close enough to help. Kenma slowly choked out a breath, and then another till he was matching each intake and outtake of air with his friend’s. When he opened his eyes again Kuroo was there staring at him with a look that spoke of so many things: worry, love, determination, tenderness, and fierce determination. It was a look that Kenma imagined made the writing on his wrist tingle. It was not a look he could hold for long.

“I am not going to try to make you tell me who your soulmate is. In fact I am not going to try and make you talk at all if you don’t want to. Though I will listen if you want to tell me anything.” Kuroo said gently, “But **I** need to talk to you. We’ve got the upcoming tournaments quickly coming which will likely be really intense and we don’t need this festering between us.”

Kenma didn’t respond, he knew he had a point, so he just closed his eyes and focused on trying to calm the anxiety that seemed set of wrecking him from the inside out.

“I wanted to apologize for starters: that was a terrible situation for you and I should have been at your side defending you and instead I was being butt hurt about pointless things while you needed me most.” That was not what Kenma had been expecting. He blearily opened his eyes in surprise to see Kuroo smiling weakly at him.

“You’ve never owed me a thing, least of all that kind of personal information. Once I stopped sulking I could see it clearly. I could see it so clearly.” Said Kuroo his voice going so soft it was almost a whisper.

Kenma suddenly couldn’t look away.

“You didn’t just not tell me. You were- no are- _scared_ of me knowing.” Said Kuroo and there was sadness in his face, but also a lot more compassion than Kenma was expecting.

Kenma was suddenly certain in that moment that somehow Kuroo knew. Or at least guessed.

“And I could only think of a few reasons for that. Somehow knowing who you’re soulmate was would make me either angry, or judgmental, or somehow change the dynamic of our friendship, which I know is something you treasure as much as I do even if you don’t always say so.” Continued Kuroo watching his face closely, “Since I would never react that way about a stranger, I knew it had to be someone that we both knew. Likewise if it was someone a lot older or younger than you then you’d probably have no problem telling me. And I honestly can only think of a handful of people that would even have the potential to be your soulmate and I would have been happy for you if you got any their names. Then I suddenly realized that biggest possible reason for you to think our friendship would change was if-“

“Kuroo-“ Kenma began his throat feeling tight.

“-it was me.” Finished Kuroo softly. Kenma closed his eyes. He knew the truth was written on his face for Kuroo’s keen eyes. And regardless they both knew that if Kuroo had been wrong Kenma would have been quick to tell him.

“Kenma, you realize that our current relationship doesn’t have to change at all because of this.” Kuroo promised leaning forward, “Not now, not ever. I will always love you. But that totally can stay platonic-“

“But what if it doesn’t?” Kenma asked before he could stop himself.

“Kenma-“ Kuroo began his eyes tightening.

“No Kuroo, I know you.” Kenma said and suddenly his gold eyes flashing slightly the words were pouring out, “You like romance, and dating, and sex, and… all of it. And I can’t- won’t- whatever- give that to you. Ever. But now you’ve got this idea in your head because of this stupid name on my wrist, and you’re not going to try and be with anybody else are you? Even if you ever fall for someone else you’ll try to stay with me. Even if the idea of you with someone else doesn’t bother me. You’ll still try and stay with me even if it hurt you and I- I’ve only ever wanted you to be my best friend Kuroo.”

“You _are_ my best friend Kenma. And I know you don’t seem to get attracted to anyone but that doesn’t mean the rest of us are animals ruled by our hormones. I am not going to just start lusting after you or random people just because I am not getting any.” Said Kuroo grimacing.

“I was _not_ saying that.” Kenma muttered.

“I know you weren’t, but it might be helpful to be reminded of it.” Sighed Kuroo before he smiled slightly, “You know I’ve rarely heard you talk that much, especially about yourself. I am quite impressed. Must be the Chibi rubbing off on you.”

Kenma glowered at him.

“Jokes aside, neither of us are interested in changing our relationship at the moment. If there ever was a time down the road where one of us did, than we’d talk about it then. But it’s kind of pointless to speculate about future desires that may or may not even come to pass. And I can promise you that if things ever change on my end that you’ll be the first to know... Possibly before even I know given how observant you are.” Smiled Kuroo.

“So…” Kenma said slowly as he mulled it all over, “you want a… queer-platonic relationship?”

“I am not… entirely sure what that is. But possibly.” Frowned Kuroo tilting his head, “I want what we have now: a friendship that’s a little closer than you’d normally have friends but not what people would consider lovers. Sound good to you?”

“…would this relationship include kisses or… anything?” asked Kenma warily.

“Our current one doesn’t, so I don’t see why it would… unless that’s something you want?” inquired Kuroo with a raised eyebrow. He burst out laughing at the face Kenma made, “I’ll take that as a no?”

“Other people’s saliva is gross.” Kenma mumbled, “I don’t want it anywhere on my skin or mouth.”

“Pfft, got you loud and clear Kitten.” Kuroo grinned clearly trying to not outright cackle.

Kenma took a deep breath and let his head droop. He was coming down from his near panic fairly steadily but… perhaps a bit too steadily. Kenma grimaced with displeasure as he found himself dropping like the way he often did after periods of high stress and/or anxiety. Wordlessly he raised one arm limply and Kuroo understood, slowly gathering Kenma up in his arms and moving the two of them to the bed. Kenma usually hated to be touched or have people too close to him while he was anxious, but after if he dropped he found that it helped to have someone he trusted hold him close.

So basically just Kuroo at moment.

“Can I see you’re mark?” asked Kuroo hesitantly.

“You want to see your own name?” asked Kenma feeling exhausted.

“…Yeah.”

“…Make-up remover wipes are in the bedside table.” Mumbled Kenma at last tucking his head into Kuroo’s chest. He could feel Kuroo shifting underneath him but his body felt heavy and comfortable and safe.

“’s just under the hand on the inside of the wrist.” Kenma said offering his hand when Kuroo hesitated. With the upmost tenderness Kuroo began methodically wiping off the concealer.

“It’s really true…” said Kuroo with a hint of awe. The thought occurred to Kenma that the two of them didn’t really need all the physicality of other couples. The gentle brush of Kuroo’s fingertips on his soulmark felt far more intimate than any kiss ever could be.

“I am skipping school tomorrow.” Kenma informed him, “I need to… decompress from all of this.

“Want me to stay with?” asked Kuroo. Kenma shook his head. He needed alone space to sort out his thoughts. He was ahead in his school work anyway so it wouldn’t matter.

“Don’t tell people.” Kenma said suddenly as the thought occurred to him.

“Wasn’t planning on making it public,” agreed Kuroo letting go of his wrist to wrap his arms around him, “I don’t want you to get bullied. Especially when I’ll be graduating soon and can’t look out for you.”

“…I don’t really want the team knowing yet either.” Said Kenma.

“No one?” asked Kuroo in surprise.

“…Yaku can know. Maybe others later. But not now.” Kenma insisted.

“Okay.” Agreed Kuroo easily, “Anyone else?”

“Akaashi already knows,” admitted Kenma, Kuroo raised an eyebrow at that, “And I wouldn’t mind if Bokuto knows so long as he doesn’t spread it around.”

“Bo wouldn’t do that.” Said Kuroo confidently.

Kenma hummed his accent as he shifted to get more comfortable. He noticed Kuroo itching at his hand again and grabbed it lifting it up towards eye level to examine.

“You’ve got a soul name working on appearing.” Kenma noted tracing the dark smudge on the side of Kuroo’s pointer finger. Kuroo went tense under him.

“It won’t change anything. No matter what name appears.” Kuroo quickly tried to assure him.

“It might change some things.” Kenma corrected him, but unlike he thought he would, he felt no uneasiness building up at the idea. Maybe it was just because he was so wrung out that he couldn’t muster up the feeling(though he doubted that) or maybe it was just the suddenly he felt certain- “even if some things change, I think the fundamentals of you and I will stay the same.”

Kuroo stared down at him blankly before a large grin spread across his face.

“Mmm… now you’re getting it. I think so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Practically 6 months later the story that was supposed to be a one-shot comes to an end! I actually had a lot more ideas but I didn’t want to distract from this storyline. I think I may post some other stories in this universe. Particularly how the Bokuto/Akaashi storyline resolves with Akaashi not having Bokuto’s mark. That one I actually already have partially written. I could also do a Daisuga or a Yakulev or Iwaoi. Endless possibilities. We’ll see what comes out in text.
> 
> For those of you who are doubting if a Kenma sized person could eat an entire apple pie by themselves let me assure you that I am a Kenma sized person myself and I have done so recently. ‘twas quite yummy. No sugar coma’s or anything but contentment afterwards so have no fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda short. I had to debate whether I was going to have a long oneshot(like 25+ pages) or if I should have a bunch of little chapters. Obviously, I decided to go with the many little chapters. Still though, I think I'll be able to complete this one soonish… or not if some spark of inspiration comes for making the plot more in depth. We'll see.


End file.
